i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
