He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
