You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
