don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
