god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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