Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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