it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
