I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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