the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
