I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
