I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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