i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it was like his penis was on wheels.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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