You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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