This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
