try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
