My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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