Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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