ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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