plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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