go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
