put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
