You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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