Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
