I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
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Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
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This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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