There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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