There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Randomize
