How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We are two peas in an std pod
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
