I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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