sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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