Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
