That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
