and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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