can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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