There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
