why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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