Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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