i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
