so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
