Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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