Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize