So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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