look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Let's get the cat blown out
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
