you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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