I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
