I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
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