I have demons in me.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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