you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Green mimosas i think yes
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize