While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
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I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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