Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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