It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
