We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
