cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
