i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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