i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You smell like stripper and shame
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
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I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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