***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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