He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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