we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
