The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
