I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
