An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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