Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
