Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
